An unfortunate incident with a flying cake
by the-kermit-kid
Summary: Lily Evans is having the worst holiday ever; until a certain messy-haired boy comes knocking. My version of when James Potter meets Vernon Dursley - one-shot :-)


**An unfortunate incident with a flying cake **

**This is my version of what happened when James Potter met Vernon Dursley; with some interesting results. **

**I own nothing. All credit goes to the _incredible_ JK Rowling. Enjoy**

**December 29th 1977, 8pm **

"Free at last!" Lily Evans fell back on her bed the second the door shut. Her sister and brother-in-law had left for some fancy dinner somewhere that she didn't bother remembering. She hadn't even been listening to Petunia in the first place. Ever since her parents had left last week Petunia had been treating her like crap.

_Freak_.

That was Petunia's awful nickname for her; every time she said that Lily had wanted to scream at her, she wanted to give her a piece of her mind, and believe me she tried. She and Petunia got into many a lovely argument over her education. Petunia didn't even tell her that she had got engaged to Vernon until she came home (and very reluctantly also) because she didn't think Lily had a right to know! But Lily knew that if they argued again, Petunia would go running to Vernon, Mum or Dad and _she_ would get the blame. Where was her Gryffindor courage when she needed it?

Merlin, Lily missed Hogwarts. Christmas had just been and gone. She'd be back just after New Year – for her final year! She was scared, she couldn't deny it. Hogwarts had always been a safe place for her, but with the war raging on, and the fact that Dumbledore would no longer be able to protect them, of course she was feeling anxious. She slipped off her bed and took out her school books. There was no way she was going to let the chance of being completely alone in the house slip to get some studying done.

**2 hours later**

_Tap!_ Lily jumped right out of her skin. The sound made her surprised enough to drop her Potions book on the floor and to draw her wand out. There was no way Petunia and Vernon could be back yet; she would have heard Vernon's booming voice and Petunia's dreaded kitten heels scurry across the floor. _Tap tap tap! _There it was again. Lily looked away from the door towards the window. _Tap… tap!_ She was certain now - someone was tossing rocks at her window! She looked out of the window, trying to find the source of the noise – and fell upon a tall, slim figure in her garden – a tall, slim, male, very familiar figure. Without a second to lose, she turned round, bolted out of her room, ran down the stairs, opened the front door and flung herself at the figure so hard and into such a tight hug it nearly caused the two of them to fall over.

"Well, someone is certainly happy to see me," said a very familiar voice when they eventually pulled away from each other.

"What are you doing here James?" Lily asked, her eyes wide, her face beaming. She found it weird to think that only a year ago she couldn't bear to look at the tall, tanned, dark-haired, arrogant bastard that was James Potter. But recently, James changed and Lily slowly but surely opened her eyes to the feelings they had for each other - then let it out one night after a bit too much of Sirius' Firewhiskey. They had been going out for about 2 months now.

"Why, seeing my beautiful girlfriend of course," said James, giving her a peck on the cheek "That is if I'm allowed in, it's freezing out here."

Lily blushed. "Oops, sorry, please do. You're lucky that no-one's home. Otherwise my sister would probably have a fit if she saw you doing that."

Taking his right hand in her left, Lily brought James towards the kitchen and started to make a couple of hot chocolates. James leant on the counter, watching her, taking every part of her in: her delicate hands clasped around the spoon, the way her hair curled at the ends, the very faint freckles on her cheeks, the tiny twitch in her nose when she opened the pot of cocoa powder… Merlin, she was even beautiful when making chocolate! James was wondering if there would _ever _be a moment when she wouldn't be drop-dead gorgeous and make his teenage hormones run around his body like crazy!

"So where is everyone?"

"My parents have been visiting friends for the past week and Petunia is out with Vernon at the moment," said Lily, taking the mugs of milk out of the microwave. "They should be back any minute actually, they've been gone a while."

"Does he know? A-about you I mean?"

"Yes, and he didn't take it too well" Lily shrugged. "It could have been worse though. Just wait till you see him, you'll understand all I've told you about him – I honestly don't see what Petunia sees in him, he isn't even good looking!"

James went red. "Errr I am here you know"

"I know. And thankfully for you, I'm not Petunia and I don't see her taste in men." She leant in for a kiss which James met more than halfway. His lips felt so nice against hers, along with that tingling sensation that she hadn't had since their last kiss – that was almost 2 weeks ago! When they reluctantly pulled apart, James reached into his backpack and pulled out a parcel covered in red and gold paper – Gryffindor colours.

"Merry Christmas love."

Lily placed the parcel on the table before heading for the door. "Wait one second". She bolted upstairs and back again with her own present for James.

"I was going to give it to you when we got back to Hogwarts, so it's not wrapped but-" she was interrupted by another one of James' **amazing **kisses.

"As if I care" he said, looking down at what she had placed in his hands. _The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes_.

"It's a Muggle book," Lily explained, "and he's the most famous detective in our world. I don't know if you like detective stories but-"

"Trust me, I do, this is awesome. You know, you can open yours." Lily opened it gingerly to reveal a t-shirt in Gryffindor colours that was miles too big for her – a Gryffindor Quidditch team shirt to be exact – with _Potter_ written in gold lettering on the back. Lily let out a snort of laughter. It seems that even **she** cannot extinguish the last of James Potter's pride.

"What?" James said with an innocent look on his face, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "I thought you'd want to support me when I play."

"Some things never change do they?" Lily asked. James shook his head.

"I'm sorry about the size. It was either that or the smallest one – the one that only an anorexic person could fit into." Lily kept on laughing, smiling at him.

"So how has your holiday been?" Lily asked, leaning on the other side of the counter.

"Oh, the usual," said James, one hand in the messy black hair that Lily always wanted to reach out and touch. "Yours?"

"Shite." And before she knew it, she let rip everything that had happened between her and Petunia. James put down his hot chocolate, walked toward her and stroked her cheek, catching her tears. Lily hadn't even known she was crying, but as soon as she saw James' broken face, she went silent. Her mouth gaped at him. James threw his arms around her; that did it as far as Lily was concerned. All the stress and anger that had built up over the last couple of weeks came out.

"W-w-why does s-she have to be so mean?" Her tears left a wet patch on James' t-shirt but he didn't mind a bit. He kissed the top of her head.

"I don't know. But it's ok, I'm here Lily and I love you."

They stayed like that until she had calmed down, and went back to finishing their hot chocolates.

When they had finished their second (or third) cup, the front door opened and in came Vernon and Petunia looking quite windswept and dishevelled and in Vernon's case, even more red-faced. Every time Lily looked at Vernon, she couldn't help but compare him to James. James was tall and handsome, always with a cheeky lopsided grin on his face. Vernon was short and very rotund with a temper to match. James had a touch of stubble on the sides of his face that Lily absolutely adored. Vernon had a bloody ferret above his lips! She wondered how on earth Petunia could kiss him!

"Ruddy weather!" Vernon grumbled, paying no attention to either Lily or James. It wasn't until Petunia came into the room he even noticed the pair was there.

"Oh hi Tuna, had a nice date?" Lily asked. James had to bite his lip pretty hard to stop himself from laughing.

"It was ok actually," Petunia smirked "And _don't_ call me _Tuna_ **_ever_** **_again_** you freak!" Lily clenched her fists. James' eyes went a little wider. Petunia blushed and shot an innocent look in his direction, obviously hoping that she could take it back or cover it up just for his sake. Lily even managed to eavesdrop on Petunia talking to one of her friends about James – even Petunia had to admit he was handsome…

"Petunia darling, who is this?" asked Vernon, pointing at James. (James had met both Petunia and Lily's parents earlier this year on Platform 9 ¾, but he fortunately for him, hadn't met Vernon.)

"James Potter, pleasure to meet you, I'm Lily's boyfriend." James stuck his hand out to him and plastered his very polite cheeky grin on his face. Both Lily and Petunia could tell it was fake, though Vernon was none the wiser and shook James' hand. As soon as he withdrew, Lily could see James wiping his right hand on the backside of his jeans, hoping that Vernon wasn't looking. Vernon went red and rubbed his hands together nervously.

"My-y errrr, my fiancée t-tells me that you have – errrr- a, shall we say... special talent." Vernon rubbed his thick moustache with his finger "I was perhaps wondering if I can see for myself w-what it is exactly that you d-do?"

James and Lily looked at each other and shrugged. Thank Merlin they were both 17 now. James pulled out his wand and pointed it to the Christmas cake on the table. _"Wingardium Leviosa!"_

Immediately, the cake lifted itself off the table and into the air, rising a little every time James raised his wand. Lily smiled. Petunia and Vernon gasped, their eyes like saucers following the cake up and up, higher and higher.

"How extraordinary!" Vernon breathed. He then leaned towards Petunia and whispered "You're right, he's just as much of a freak as she is" Petunia gave the tiniest snort of laughter.

James was concentrating too much on making sure the cake didn't slip to hear; but Lily did. How **dare** he say that about James! Before she knew what she was doing, she grabbed her wand and pointed it straight at the cake, which was now inches away from Vernon and Petunia's heads.

_"Reducto!"_

You can imagine what happened next; the cake exploded. Crumbs and bits of marzipan and icing went _everywhere_, mostly though on Vernon and Petunia themselves. They, along with James, froze and stared at Lily. James had never seen her so angry. She reminded him of a Hippogriff with its feathers all pulled out. She pointed her wand at Petunia and Vernon.

"You can call me _all_ the names you like, but _don't you_ **_dare_** insult my boyfriend in front of me!"

**11.30pm**

"Do you think I went too far?" Lily asked when she emerged from the bathroom.

After the cake exploded, Petunia had then exploded at Lily and led Vernon off so they can be cleaned up. Neither she nor James had seen either of them since, but they had heard them – oh they heard them alright. Cussing, calling them all sorts of names.

"Vernon dear, it's ok, there's no way I'm going to have her welcome at our wedding now - and as soon as we are married, we won't have anything to do with them and their freak-show whatsoever."

Lily and James had stopped still when they heard that one. Lily then dove herself into James' chest and started crying again. There was no way she wanted this to happen between them, she didn't _want_ to behave like this to Petunia. James held her firmly, planting kisses on her forehead, cheeks and down her neck. "It's ok Lily, I'm here, yeah. I'm here. And I love you, I love you so much."

Lily's cries turned into hiccups as she settled herself into James' chest. They stayed like that for a while until Lily mumbled, "Shouldn't you get back home now? Your parents will wonder where you are."

"I guess so," James muttered "But do you want me to go?"

Lily reluctantly shook her head. She knew it was useless lying to him.

"Ok," he said, lifting himself away from her. "You get all mopped up or whatever it is you girls do," at this point, Lily gave him a good elbow in the ribs "And I'll let my parents know."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him before sliding off her bed and grabbing some pyjamas before heading towards the bathroom next to her bedroom. As soon as she was gone, James grabbed out his wand waved it and whispered: _Expecto Patronum!_ A beautiful silver stag emerged from the tip of his wand and galloped for a little around the bedroom before coming back to James and bowing its head. He said his message to the stag and before he knew it, the stag vanished. A few minutes later, the stag returned, this time with a message from his father.

"That's fine. Thanks for telling us son. Tell Lily we say hi, your mother and I both hope she's ok. Oh and James," the stag paused and then winked "No funny business ok."

The stag then vanished and James gave himself a mental note to have a word with his father when he got home.

"Do you think I went too far?" Lily asked when she emerged from the bathroom – and then stopped dead in her tracks– her boyfriend was laying on her bed with just his jeans on. "James, whist I admit that all the Quidditch is paying off, do you have to be topless?" James didn't respond. He just stared at her.

"You're wearing the t-shirt I gave you?" She was indeed, as well as a pair of _very_ short pyjama shorts.

"If you keep that up and don't answer my question, it's only going to be used as a pyjama top." she smirked. "Now why are you topless?"

"Because I was half way through getting changed when you came in, so I thought I'd treat you," he shrugged, smirking. "Plus you'd better get used to it."

"Pervert," she muttered under her breath "I'm going to turn round and when I look back, you better have _something_ on your top half."

She turned round. James laughed under his breath; she looked so attractive when she was pissed off at him. But seeing as he didn't want make her angrier, he slipped out of his jeans and turned his shirt into a really baggy grey t-shirt. "Ok, you can turn round now" he said, slipping the t-shirt over his head. Lily turned round, eyed him up and down and raised an eyebrow at him. "That'll have to do". James smiled and they both snuggled up under the covers, his arm wrapped around hers.

"James?"

"What?"

"You never answered my question."

"Sorry. What was it again?"

"Do you think I went too far? On Petunia and Vernon I mean?" James held her that much tighter and kissed her temple.

"Lily Evans, I want you to listen to me very carefully. What happened was **not your fault.** Do you understand? I think it was really brave what you did; you showed some real Gryffindor courage back there." He ran a hand through her beautiful dark red hair. "Personally, I think it's disgraceful for them not to accept who you are – the most beautiful, intelligent girl I have ever known. I love you Lily Evans and you are **_not_** a freak. And don't you ever forget that."

Lily held onto him even tighter. "I just couldn't sit back and let them say that about you… and me I guess." James smiled down at her, she returned it. "And by the way, I love you t-"

She was cut off mid-sentence again by James' lips crushing hers. This kiss wasn't soft and chaste like the last one though. This one had a lot more passion and drive in it than the last; it didn't take long for both their mouths to be coaxed open. Her hands were gripping his t-shirt, while his were in her hair. When they broke apart, Lily looked up at him. He was smirking at her.

"Lily."

"What James?"

"You still have cake in your hair." she blushed as he pulled out a crumb from her red locks.

"Yummy," he said, popping it in his mouth "Tastes like you."

Lily gave him a smack on the arm "Pervert!"

"I know" James laughed "But I'm _your_ pervert"

Lily sighed as James held her closer.

"I tell you what though?"

"What?"

"My parents are going to kill me."

James had his eyebrows raised and laughed.

"By the way, you know it's New Year's Eve tomorrow?" he asked "Sirius, Remus and Peter are coming over to the Potter house. Care to join us?"

"I'd love that"

Slumber eventually overcame them both and the rest of the world just fell away.

**That was my first attempt at a HP fanfiction. I have been getting into HP again recently as all the films have been on Italian telly and my roommate has never seen them before (dun dun duuuuun! - at the moment, she's seen up to goblet, so we're getting somewhere). I have especially been getting into everything about the Marauders etc etc (and really wish there was more of it in the books and films) and also into Lily and James' relationship. The fact that there were only a few months older than me when they died is just so sad =( RIP Lily and James Potter (31st October 1981). **

**As I have said, this was my first attempt at a HP fanfic, so I was insanely nervous writing it and only hope I've done the characters justice. And seeing as I am only a rookie, reviews and _constructive _advice is always welcome. ****Big thanks to __****Aragornevenstar4eva** and _**ArdeaSpark**_** for helping me. =)**


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